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His own family doesn’t seem to want much to do with him.Cutting off the child will only cut you off from the wheel of life.You won’t get to see him develop into his adult self.Even when our children become adults, we are more adult than they are. There may well be positive attributes in this person that you don’t yet see. Take the time to get to know the new partner up close and personal. Find out how she understands their romance and what she sees in their future. Either your anxieties will diminish or your child will see for himself the issues that make you anxious. You may not be able, at least yet, to love the person your kid loves — but if you work at it, you can probably find something to admire. He has the right to make his own decisions and his own mistakes.If we want to maintain the relationship with an adult child and to continue to participate in the family’s life cycle, it’s up to us to keep our heads and to model how to agree to disagree. Do not allow yourself to get defensive or angry or threatening. If nothing else, the fact that she is able to withstand your disapproval deserves some grudging respect. Let him know you wish he saw it your way but that you will do your best to embrace the person he cares so much about. If there are children in the picture, focus on them. Provide whatever emotional support you can for the difficult job of raising a child. As much as we like to think we know better, we don’t always.

For example, if she is dating someone you don't like, remind her of the rules in your household and the consequences that go with them, but do not use the boyfriend as an example.

Tell her you expect her to be home by her curfew every night, lying is not permitted, grades must be maintained, and her behavior must be respectful and polite at all times.

Encourage her to listen to her intuition and that no always means no, advises Saltz.

If she ever finds herself in a circumstance with her boyfriend or anywhere else in life in which she finds herself feeling uncomfortable, tell her to trust her gut and say "no." Skip the talk and sever the relationship if it is out of control, advises clinical psychologist Ruth Peters. This situation should be used only if it really requires it, such as when your daughter’s boyfriend is significantly older -- what is a 30-year-old man doing with a 16-year-old girl anyway?

-- if he has a troubling criminal record, if he abuses drugs or alcohol, or if he is abusing your daughter.

”The woman talking with me is more than a little upset. Yet she swears he is the love of her life and she defends him!