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26 Jan

Have An Affair.” That is what I have spent the last three days trying to do.A spokesperson declined to comment, but instead pointed me to a press release which stated: “At this time, we have been able to secure our sites. After a few dead-end conversations, a flashing box invites me to “call collect” with a user.We are working with law enforcement agencies, which are investigating. There’s the option to send digital gifts: a teddy bear, a rose or a sapphire necklace (at £16! I swap the last of my credits for 30 minutes of live chat.One user in his forties and working in finance says he wants to whisk me away for a weekend by the sea.He says he stayed with his partner only because she announced she was pregnant.

Any and all parties responsible for this act of cyber–terrorism will be held responsible.”For now, the site is still charging, apparently banking on the impulsivity that drives online gambling. A message pops up “hi can give you a strip show right now… ” I am directed to a live webcam site but with one eye on my expenses claim, I decide to call it a day and let the flood of red-lip emojis cascade over me.

Rachael Pells Ashley Madison isn’t the only option for online cheaters.

I hit the first hurdle when both usernames Naughty Boy88 and Naughty Boy1988 are taken.

I’m also dismayed to find that Naughty Boy69 is also unavailable. Two hours later my inbox is still ringing hollow – not a single response.

Another user says she’s looking for: “A passionate one-night stand like there is no tomorrow”.

But they are outnumbered by a second group of twentysomethings who are just as straightforward.