Dating again after a breakup

05 Feb

” Knowing my stance on giving yourself enough time to heal from heartbreak, my newly-single friends will often shy away from telling me they’ve begun dating again.” One week for every year of the relationship is one of the most common healing time prescriptions.But I promise, there is no magic formula that will guarantee when you will be ready to open up your heart to someone new.But contrary to what you might think, there are thousands of normal, healthy people online looking to meet someone great.” Elizabeth, 52, had been married for almost 25 years when her husband told her he’d met someone else.“The two things I remember very clearly were that his face had gone that purple colour it went when he was feeling defensive, and the other was that I was so unbelievably stupid,” she says. I thought I had my life all mapped out and arranged – I thought I knew what my future looked like.” Three years on, she says, she barely remembers anything about the months after her husband left.

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that wanting to move on and actually doing it are two very different things.Putting yourself out there can be incredibly intimidating, and no more so than when you’re coming out of a long-term relationship.Typically, when emotionally healthy, we will not be into approximately two thirds of the guys we meet.That leaves one third that we should be feeling a little giddy about, hoping that he calls the next day.“I thought the recent strange behaviour and care with his phone was because he was planning a big surprise for our anniversary. “It was too complicated a set of feelings; the fury, the devastation, the rehashing of our lives together in the middle of the night, questioning every lovely moment we’d shared.It was a blur, but I emerged eight months later a stone heavier and feeling like I needed to do something to move on.” So Elizabeth tried online dating and, while she says it certainly had its frustrating moments, after eight months she met Andrew, 51 and they are planning to move in together in time for Christmas.With these very real fears in mind, I’ll bet some of you may be thinking (if we’re really being honest), is it really so bad in the first place to get back out there right away? But fulfilling it is unfortunately not a numbers game like applying for jobs.Isn’t it natural for me to want waste no more time in finding the love of my life? When we lose a job, we immediately update our resume and start pounding the pavement.

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